census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
