After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
