i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
