Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
