I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
