i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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