Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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