we're chasing vodka with high fives
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize