I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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