can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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