Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
