It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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