I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
