just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
