He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
