Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
