Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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