i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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