it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
