What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
