This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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