that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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