I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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