Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
