The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
