I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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