I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
