Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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