got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
