so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
