I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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