I need help removing her.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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