Only a mothe r could love this liver
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize