He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
my poor anus
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
