FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
