im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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