Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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