yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
