If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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