My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
