How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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