I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
