I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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