If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
