I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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