Is it because I queefed?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
