Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
