yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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