I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
