I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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