He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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