is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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