I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
