It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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