perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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