Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
