Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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