i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
