i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
