he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
