its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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