Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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