Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
In America we eat man semen.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
