Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
